Wednesday, March 7, 2012

In two days my son turns seventeen (3/7/12)
I find myself questioning
Have I let him know often enough
Does he really understand
How much I care for and love him?

I want to hold him and turn back the clock
I wish I could undo or redo the past
To be the one who was there
When he needed to learn how to shave
The one who was with him
When he entered grade eight
Starting high school can be scary.
But so is when your parents split up.

I want him to know that I think of him
Every day and not just once but all day long
He's always on my mind as I wonder
Does he know, does it show
He's my son and I'm so very proud
Of all that he's done
And all that he'll do.

The way he learned to play guitar
And seized the day with his writing
The way he experiments and tries
Writing music and prose and poetry
Reaching out and looking within.

He's my son and I love him so.
Happy birthday my boy
And though I can't hug you and hold you
Like I used to do
You'll always be my little guy.
Skipping rocks and trying to fish
Walking the dogs and climbing the hill

Seventeen is almost there
Adulthood just around the corner
Yet still bound by the rules
And stuck under the thumb of one
Striving so hard to become
More than a kid, not sure how
Wish it was me that was helping you see

He's my son and I want him to know
To feel in his heart
The love that I feel.
Won't be enough if I buy just a game
A fly fishing rod would be cool
But we so seldom have time together
Just one more thing
For the other to restrict.
Sigh............

I reach out to hold him
And like smoke in a mirror
He disappears
All grown up
Too late for regrets
Too little time to make up.

Happy Birthday my son

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